Oh darn. That backfired.

I'm learning.

I tend to be a person who over teaches things. When someone else is not understanding what I'm teaching I find it much easier - though I'm not proud of this - to just finish it myself. An example would be my 3 year old wanting to put his own shoes on. It takes 1 minute for me to put his shoes on, it takes 10 minutes for him to put his shoes on and even then we have to take them off and fix it. I'm learning to let him try it on his own and celebrate the little achievements along the way instead of insisting on the correct outcome. So he puts them on the wrong feet... that's OK, he managed to get the velcro done up properly on both sides. Great job! He did it himself. All by himself. Maybe he'll get them on the right feet tomorrow.

On the topic of shoes, that very same 3 year old (Linden) likes to take his shoes off in the van while we're heading somewhere. I have told him many times to keep his shoes on. Today was no exception. Well, there was an exception. Mike and I are watching a DVD series right now on parenting. It's called, "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. Last night we were taught some simple ways to help children learn and take responsibility for their choices and actions. So, today I was armed with tools to help Linden learn a valuable lesson. Mr. Silk taught that it's a lot easier as the parent to just get angry or upset and say, "I don't have time for this!" while jamming the shoes back on his little feet (He was telling a different story, but insert our reality here). The child gets a stern talking to but still gets his shoes back on before heading out of the van. He's happy. No wet feet, got to have his shoes off, and see a pretty good reaction out of mom.

Not today. Today when Linden took his shoes off I didn't respond. I just got the grocery cart and lifted him out of the van onto the pavement. His reaction scared me. "Cool mom! I get to walk in my socks!" I thought to myself, "Oh darn. That backfired." He was supposed to tell me that he wanted his shoes back on so I could tell him that he made the choice to have his shoes off and he'll have to keep them off until we get home. We walked into the store and Linden got in the cart, we finished our shop and as we were leaving I lifted him out and said, "OK Linden, ready to walk to the van?" to which he replied, "YA!". We got outside and it was raining. It only took a few steps - and a few evil glares at me from concerned citizens - before Linden stopped and said that his feet were getting really wet. I responded calmly and lovingly, "Oh no! Boy, it sure is nice to wear shoes outside isn't it? We better get back to the van. Maybe next time you'll choose to keep your shoes on." Linden looked at me with a confused, blank look and then kept walking to the van.  Lesson learned? We'll find out tomorrow when we're driving, hopefully his shoes will stay on his feet. (Just so you know, we were parked in the best parking spot available, close to the entrance. I didn't let my child get hypothermia)

If I constantly am solving all of my kids problems for them, the problem may be resolved, but the child doesn't learn anything. Kids are smart. They need opportunity to use the beautiful brains that God gave them and we need to not be afraid of what will happen if they mess up. I hope that the result of our little learning opportunity today will be that Linden thinks before he takes his shoes off. I hope he doesn't think, "If I take my shoes off, I'll get in trouble." I hope he thinks, "If I take my shoes off, my feet will get wet." Then he will be learning to think for himself and not just follow rules cause he has to.

This is my learning journey. I am loving this series so far and I know Mike is too. Hopefully I will be able to give some great updates on our progress and bring you along on the journey.

Journey is a funny word. Journey. Jour. Ney. Jeeerrrrrnnneeeeey.

Laura.